Posts Tagged ‘funny’

The Ugly Horse

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

A cousin contacted me yesterday regarding our great great great grandfather William Ellington Bond. I had put together a Genealogy book for my family in 2005 and decided to look through it for information regarding our grandfather. I had forgotten about the following story I had included in the book.

The Ugly Horse

On 16 Oct 2005, my brother Greg and I were returning to NC from visiting the folks in KY. I wanted to look for the grave of Jeremiah and Mary Yates and we swung through Haysi, VA looking for the Andrew Jackson Edwards Cemetery. We found one good looking prospect on a beautiful ridge but our ancestors were not there. We tried a couple of other small roads but with no luck.

We were inching up a narrow one lane mountain road when we came upon a lady walking her dog. We asked her for directions and she told us to check with her brother who was cutting firewood on up the road. So we continued.

Rounding a sharp curve, Greg calmly remarked “Now there’s something you don’t see every day.” It was a Llama, resting upright, with its legs folded underneath it, chewing aggressively on its cud. As we drove slowly by keeping our eyes on it, it swiveled its head to watch us and never stopping chewing the cud.

About 100 yards later we came upon three men beside the road. This was Oct so they were wearing flannel shirts with matching baseballs hats and I’m pretty sure all three were chewing tobacco. They were cutting firewood just like the lady said. They were on Greg’s side of the truck and I rolled down his window and shut off the truck so we could talk. We were driving my Dodge 2500 long bed Cummins Diesel pickup. That thing was so loud I always had to shut it down in drive throughs.

The look on their faces told me they were thinking “Them boys ain’t from around here.”
One of them leaned back on his boot heels with his hands in his pockets and loudly asked “WHAT DO YOU KNOW BOYS?” Greg without missing a beat said “Right back there is the ugliest horse I’ve every seen in my life.”

One of them immediately said “Yeah, and he’s HELL TO RIDE TOO!” Needless to say, that broke the ice and they proceeded to tell us of several places that might be our
cemetery but none of them proved to be the one we were looking for. It turned out we were reading the directions backward and we soon found the cemetery. But I still chuckle every time I think about the “ugly horse.”

Here are the photos I took that day of the graves of my great great great grandparents.

Here is the grave of William Ellington Bond my cousin was looking for:

Sometimes You Have to Laugh to Keep From Crying

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

My Dad’s grandmother often gave her grandchildren advice about life that could be summed up in one sentence. My Dad passed those on to his children. One that I never truly appreciated until I was an adult and a father was “Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.”

I like analogies and one that describes my life recently is a wooden sailing ship tossed about a gray wind whipped sea in a howling wind. Everything is lashed tight and the ship is doing ok. Then a strong wave hits broadside, rolling the ship over almost horizontal. Water on the decks start to clear and the ship slowly rights itself, then another wave comes along.

Used with permission. Atlantic-Cable.com website

The Nortel bankruptcy was certainly a broadside that tossed many of us pretty hard. I have greatly reduced my budget, cut cash burn to the absolute minimum, purchased temporary health insurance, got my resume polished, attended out placement classes and started networking. I have some reserves and can comfortably look several months for a job; if I have no major financial hits. The ship is slowly righting.

A couple of weeks ago I looked up from my desk and and noticed the house was filled with smoke at the exact same time the smoke alarms when off. I am a chronic list maker and I kid you not, my very first thought was “I can check off testing the smoke alarms” followed by some words that I can not print here.

The smoke had that unique electrical fire smell. I ran through the house looking for a point of origin and then I took 30 seconds to let my diagnostic skills kick in (that will be another post) and quickly noticed that the whole house was filled with smoke so the HVAC system was a prime suspect. That and the fact that the system is 14 years old and I’ve been told about 10 years is the max for a heat pump system. More unprintable words. I’ve just been hit by another broadside wave. The ship is going over.

I rush to the window and the outside unit is still running but there is now no air coming out of the vents. I shut the system down and go into the crawl space for a better look. I am a firm believer that everyone should have some general knowledge about how systems work. To stop this story here, the air handler motor had seized and the 60 amp 220v circuit breaker was fried. About $120 later I was back in business clearing the smoke out of the house. If I had called a repairman I am sure the cost would have been hundreds more and they would have pushed a complete system replacement.

The deck is clearing. The ship is slowly rolling back upright.

My benefits ended last Friday. Prior to Friday I went to my dentist to get a filling replaced. The dentist said I had another filling that was borderline so we should do that one also. It was a slow day at the dental office. The teeth were on opposite sides of my mouth so I got two shots and my whole face was numb. He finished one filling and was working on the other with the drill that vibrates your whole head when…. wait for it…….  The power goes off.

Here comes another wave.

One of the hygienists found a flashlight in her purse. The hated drill is powered with compressed air so it still worked but there was no suction so I had to just spit or swallow. The dentist finished up with the hygienist leaning over me with a double AA Mag-Lite stuck in my mouth.

I was almost hysterical with laughter as I left. I told the dentist what I have just told you. I also reminded myself  “Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying”.

My luck is definitely going to get better from here.



© Bobby Daniel